Attention! Are You a Frustrated Christian “Perfectionist”?
Here are the 3 Things You Need to Know to Experience Peace, Freedom, and Purpose!
- Do you want your day to be full of meaning and purpose, but at the end it just seems like a waste, and you feel guilty, disappointed, or disillusioned?
- Do you get sparks of inspiration for new things you want to try, only to have the flashbacks of gut-wrenching disappointment and embarrassing memories extinguish all motivation?
- Does your job leave you unfulfilled, going through the motions but doubtful it has any meaningful impact beyond getting a paycheck?
- Are you uncertain about your identity, hesitant to be someone other than the labels you’ve been given, but desperate to know who the “real you” is?
- Are you “fine”…but you want to be delighted, joyful, dynamic, confident, hopeful,…alive?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then you need to reclaim your Supernatural Kingdom Identity…and the more you answered “yes” to, the more you need it!
[spoiler title=”Click to Read Video Transcript” open=”0″ style=”1″]We all want to matter. We all want to be special. Our identity is often wrapped up in making sure we stand out from everyone else, having a name for ourselves. We want to be unique. But either you think that if everyone’s special no one is, or that other people can be special, but not you.
And why not? That’s what nearly everything and everyone around you tell you constantly. Hear it long enough and eventually, you believe it. So, what does the world say about you, about who you are? How does the world define you—or try to get you to define yourself?
Somewhere along the way, you may have been told, and by now may have even convinced yourself that…
- There is something outside of God that you need;
- You’re untalented, or unqualified;
- You’re OK…but you really should be better;
- Your dreams were foolish;
- Without a job you aren’t worth anything;
- You’ll never succeed;
- You’re hopeless;
- You’re broken;
- You can’t accomplish anything worthwhile;
- This is all there is;
- God couldn’t possibly love you.
We don’t want to admit these messages are inside, so we cover them up, put on the best and bravest face we can, and venture out into the world, hoping that no one notices, or looks to close. Whether you’ve been aware of it or not, your life has been filled with these messages—often from well-meaning people.
But these are lies. You have believed a lie—and so have I. Instead of trying to shove the messages down and ignore them, which really never works, we need to “renew our minds”.
The Bible says that you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. If you don’t know the truth, you’ll believe the lies, so it’s time to remind ourselves of the truth. You can’t effectively move forward until we address these and get to the heart of your true identity, what I call your Supernatural Kingdom Identity.
Remember, Paul said “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2a)
If you’ve tried to find purpose, meaning, value, or even something as seemingly-simple as a better job or a healthy marriage, and you haven’t started from your Supernatural Kingdom Identity, you’re building on a shaky foundation that ultimately won’t help you to live a life of meaning and identify your unique, God-given purpose, and it won’t help you find work that you love, healthy relationships. Or anything of lasting significance.
“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26)
So we need to start from a different beginning. We’re going to start the process of helping you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Walt Disney said, “The more I go to other amusement parks in all parts of the world, the more I am convinced of the wisdom of the original concepts of Disneyland. I mean, have a single entrance through which all traffic would flow, then a hub off which the various areas were situated. That gives people a sense of orientation—they know where they are at all times. And it saves a lot of walking.”
That’s the purpose of this series. Walk through the single entrance of understanding who God is. Then up the main street to the hub, where you start to grasp your Supernatural Kingdom Identity. Only from this foundation can we consider how He has shaped us to serve Him in the world, through all the unique ways He has created each of us, the countless spokes off that central hub.
To do that, we need to answer three of questions:
- Who is God?
- Who are you in Him?
- How do you define success?
Even if these seem like simple questions with easy answers, you may be surprised what is lurking beneath the surface and holding you back from being the “you” God made you to be!
Once you get clarity on those, you’ll be in a much better position to look at your strengths, personality, skills, abilities, gifts, and passions, how they fit together to make you who God uniquely shaped you to be, and then what to do to live that out and be the best possible steward of what He has entrusted to you.
- Based on your actions, your words, and even your thoughts, what does the world say about you that you believe are true?
- Which ones really are true?
- What would it look like in your life, today, to live as if one of those false beliefs really is false?
FREE! Receive 6 Video Lessons to help you (re)discover PEACE, FREEDOM, HOPE, and PURPOSE by reclaiming your Supernatural Kingdom Identity! Delivered straight to your Inbox over the next 2 weeks.
You may be asking yourself, “Why Randy? What does he know about this?”
For much of my life, I knew what it was like to have my identity defined for me by others, and to have to live up to it. I didn’t realize it most of the time, and the people in my life I allowed to do it were all well-meaning, but it happened anyway.
As a child at home, I had the role of co-caregiver to my Grandma, and sometimes caregiver to my Mom, too. In school, I was “the smart one”—which, of course, meant that I was good in all school subjects (and liked them all), but wasn’t athletic at all. I was picked on by fellow students and beat up more than I’d like to remember.
I was a very sensitive, emotional child, but in third grade my Gifted and Talented Educate (G.A.T.E.) teacher warned my parents to be very careful and watch me closely because with that combination of emotional sensitivity and highly-developed intellect, I was at risk for serious emotional, and maybe even psychological issues. So I learned, subconsciously for the most part, to be careful about that part of my emotional nature and bury it.
Because I was capable of so much—which I’m grateful was nurtured and encouraged by my family—and had the responsibility and expectation I did, I was a perfectionist. I expected a lot of myself, never wanted to let anyone down, and knew that in some parts of my life (especially the health of my family) there was no room for error, so my standard became 100% all the time. Whether I had to earn other people’s favor or not, I had to earn my own. That’s a very exhausting way to grow up, but it’s the only way I knew how to be.
Even as I got older, I allowed myself to have my identity defined by others. I joined the Worship Team at my church as the drummer for 9 years, not missing a Sunday because if I didn’t do it, who would? That was my role. I was insecure, so I looked to others that I respected—or wanted to respect—to tell me who I was and what that meant…probably because I didn’t know how to find out otherwise.
God had been slowly working on me for years, but it accelerated when I was in my 20’s thanks to, of all places, Disneyland. Disneyland became the place where I could “recapture my childhood,” reconnect with the emotional side of myself I’d buried, and escape. I could be anyone I wanted to be, live out adventures that were impossible in the “real world”, and begin to reclaim my individual identity. The more time I spent there and got to know it, the more valuable it became to me and the more I wanted to learn.
At the same time, God used Bible College to teach me not only what He had in store for me in that season of my life, how to study the Bible and how to preach meaningful and relevant message grounded in the Bible, but also who He had created me to be—my Supernatural Kingdom Identity that is rooted in Him and uniquely expresses itself through me.
These two pieces became integral parts of me, and in “peeling back the layers of the onion” using my training and understanding of God and the Bible, I saw that Disneyland could not only do for others what it did for me, but I could use it to capture and communicate to you the lessons God had taught me about your Supernatural Kingdom Identity.
I spent much of my life having my identity defined for me by others, or defining it in terms of what others needed me to do or expected me to be. But now I define myself through Him and who He created me to be—what He desires for me, not what anyone else expects, and my passion is to help you do the same.
[quote style=”1″]”I have tended to think of God as being impersonal, or distant, and at times have trouble relating to Him. The way Randy focused on Ephesians 1:3-14 and the concepts in those verses – the value I have as someone chosen, adopted by God as His child – really helped as a foundational teaching for me to move forward and understand more about who I am in Christ.” ~ Andrew B.[/quote]
[quote style=”1″]”I have gone through life knowing, but not really, truly understanding that I am a child of God, through my faith in Christ Jesus, and what that really means. Randy impressed upon me that my value is not based on my car, house, salary, or talents and abilities. Rather, I have come to understand that it pleases God that He has chosen me as an heir to the kingdom of heaven. This understanding has helped to shift my understanding about my own worth, and the worth of all those I encounter in day to day living; that we are valuable solely because we are children of God. This understanding has helped transform my relationship with God and with those around me.” ~ Carlyn O.[/quote]
[quote style=”1″]”This…provided me with a foundation that I’ve been able to look back upon when making important decisions in my life. I now have a much healthier perspective of my priorities and how I view personal success.” ~ Kyle S.[/quote]
[quote style=”1″]”Randy realizes that, as a Christ-focused coach, his responsibility is to help one grow more towards the goal that God has set for him or her….Randy works to help one build a stronger foundation of personal identity, and an identity in Christ, which is free from shame, hopelessness, and regrets, so that, when the foundation is strong, a great and proud work can be developed. I’d give Randy a 5 out of 5 stars in this category.” ~ Jeremy J.[/quote]